First off, screw you UPS and also Customs Canada for hitting me with a big fucking bill for my Macally case. Fine print and hidden fees be damned, along with you and several of your generations after you.
Secondly, I feel like wrath-incarnate at the moment. I woke up with a sunny disposition, however groggy, which has, over the course of my day, deteriorated to a simmering depression. This has–since this evening–bloomed, much like algae does, into a nihilistic, raging, hate-one, hate-all attempt at living.
What did I do today? I went to work, and did everything my boss asked me. It wasn’t hard, and it wasn’t tedious. I enjoyed it, and my results were perfect. I don’t dislike my boss–in fact, I quite enjoy learning the stuff he teaches me and the tasks I’m responsible for. They require logic and some programming (on Excel), and I have gotten excel-lent at it.
Now, the heart and soul of this post.
5 things I want for my own future:
- to be my own boss:
I personally consider it a mild case of insanity to be working for someone else for 40+ years of your life, making less than they do, and reaping only the benefits someone else decides to (at their whim) offer to you. You only live once, so why spend it building someone else’s career? Plus, I choose personal, financial, and spiritual freedom over stable (actually, only so long as your boss doesn’t need/want to fire you), possibly mediocre income any day. - to start (and fully enjoy) my family:
Growing up, neither of my parents were home often, as they had to work very hard to pay for all my expenses as well as those of my grandparents and our house in general. Even when they were home, they were often too tired and too tense (from work) to have any juice left to invest in me. Although I do not blame them for their absence, I am not entirely at peace with the loss I am only just realizing, the impact on who I am today, because of their decisions when it came to work versus family. My parents, to this day, both work very hard, but I can see that at least they have changed and are spending much more quality time with my sister. Yeah yeah, FML, whatever. Anyway, I plan on only marrying and/or starting a family if I am certain both myself and my wife share the same values about quality family time, working, and priorities. If not, then I will die a sad, lonely, and unfulfilled man, but at least I won’t have started something I couldn’t do right. - to make a difference:
I believe in contribution. People that know me may not immediately think of me as the most generous or charitable person. Fine, but I know myself that I am not greedy, and I am not driven by money. Refusing to let others decide what makes you valuable or what you need to do to be called “successful” is a big, senseless joke to me. Specifically, I want to make things easy for servants of God. If it means I need to give more of my income than a tithe requires for missions, so be it. Money and time are nothing but tools, and if I am blessed with them to give, so be it. - to always be learning:
This one’s not too complicated or too emotional. I just want to be well-read and obtain for myself a wealth of knowledge, know-how, and wisdom. - to be adventurous:
Life’s full of great experiences and interesting things to try–so why shouldn’t you take your fair share? I want to be that guy, the one at the social parties that has done a whole bunch of things. I want to do a walkabout in Australia, and to go see the Great Wall of China. Flying a kite on a mountain is on the list, as is riding a hot-air balloon to wherever the wind wants to take me. If I have a companion for these, fine–great, even–but these are things primarily of my own interest. In other words, these dreams of mine are not for attracting mates or friends or popularity. These are for me and my old age, so that I can look back and know that I have taken full advantage of the health and nature that God has blessed us with.