the P.Pole

so i’m caught on a fence and i’m not sure which way to go. well, i know which side to choose but i doubt that i’m ready for the repercussions. the thing is, is it alright to give “advice” in a harsh manner if say, the recipient isn’t willing to take it in a gentler format? and should i be correcting in the first place if i’m guilty of the same things, as i’m sure most of us are. the rest who aren’t are in denial.
there are people out there who are awesome, humble, kind, and accepting people. then there are the others, who enjoy puffing chests and lording credentials over others. i think i can honestly say that i (at least hope that i) am not one of the latter, but that’s for God to judge. but what happens is i get frustrated and quite irritated with people who act like superior jerk-wad-monkey-doodles. i wish i could let my tongue loose (or rather, fingers and wording), but it’s been quite a struggle to keep it under control – and i haven’t got it down completely yet – but at least i refuse to give Satan food and wine in this moment.
back to the matter. i’m walking a fine line. between standing up for what i believe to be the correct interpretation of the Bible (based on my personal knowledge and that which has been passed on to me through sermons and pastors) and being the generic, “nice” Christian. i mean, aren’t there some things that you just cannot tolerate as a Christian (ex: when someone excludes someone from say… worshipping simply on the grounds of a lack of talent?!)? i think this calls for a bit of cursing. but i shan’t. there’s enough evil and darkness in me without the extra icing on the cake. and this coming from a baptized Christian. i must say, regardless of who this complaint is coming from, you better damn well listen up.
now, i know, some of you more… idealistic or maybe even naive people out there may say, “But the Bible says not to judge. Do your homework!” you do your own damn homework. don’t you dare take things written in the Bible out of context. if no one ever judged one another, no one could ever support each other in their personal struggles. accountability would cease to exist. there would never be any guidance and challenging words coming from any physical sources. that’s neither healthy nor safe.
and then there’s others who might say, “Well, read the analogy about the speck and the log. Clean yourself before you clean others.” to that i have nothing more to say than this: there is a difference between much needed, constructive criticism and hypocrisy. i’m not lording it over anyone that i’m better than anyone. in fact, i’m willing to admit and propose that i may be one of the worst things to happen to Christianity since the Crusaders, but that doesn’t mean i cannot give my opinion at the very least, especially when i intend well and (think that) i have based it on Christian doctrines that i’ve been taught since i was young.
self-importance seems to be the latest craze. it’s hip to think that you’re better than everyone else and the temptation to think that is further fed when you’ve got proofs in your past deeds and/or training. big whoop. tell me when you get courses on humility or Acceptance-101. not only to fix you, but i would benefit from those things too.
that and anger management. when people do things that would shame God while claiming to be Christians, i tend to feel more than just a little contemptible towards them. i would know, since i incur most of that hate normally. but that aside, it pisses me off even more when they do it while raised on a stage in His house, during a time of fellowship, claim that it was needed in order to serve God better, AND while standing right in front of the Cross where Jesus died – which is supposed to represent love and grace in their purest forms. sadly, this does not necessarily seem to rub off on the bystanders. what kind of an offering is that?! God doesn’t want a gift that you offer from bloody hands, much less from a heart lacking love for others. if you love God you must love others. *raises hand* i know. i’m working on it too, but there are lines people.
i am truly stuck. simply because my faith tends to have some self-contradictions that my human mind just can’t understand, such as how i shouldn’t judge others when i’m imperfect, yet i will be held accountable for others’ discrepancies on judgment Day if i don’t speak up. then there’s the whole being kind and loving and gentle, yet that tactic does not seem to be working wuite well. refusal to accept indirect insinuations is a tough one to fight. and then there’s the whole “despises the vile man” yet loving your brothers in Christ. does loving someone mean protecting their feelings. hell no.