Thanks be to everyone who has given my family their care and support in the past little while. For those who are out of the loop of my life, my grandfather recently passed away on the 7th of November from terminal cases of liver, lung, and bone cancer. In a way, it’s kind of totally badass that he managed to hold his own as long as he did against pretty much the three most nastiest cancers, and at the age of 84 too. He is survived by his four daughters (my aunts), two sons (my dad and my uncle), and a whole flock of grandchildren, and even one great-grandchild (who holds the distinction of being the only member of that list who can be legitimately called “the Great One”).
I’ve already had a few chances to talk things out with friends and family, and I am thankful for these opportunities to share my gramps’ awesomeness with others. I am sure it has contributed a lot to how well I am dealing with the loss, and so I am grateful for the talks I’ve had, like with my dad over a father-son Korean dinner and with Elaine over some of her roasted chicken, potatoes, bacon, and mushrooms (I am starting to notice a delicious pattern here).
If you will note, I am not spending my nights sleepless in weeping and my days tired and red-eyed, nor am I a shut-in (any more than I already was, anyway) who hates the kittens and rainbows. I am pretty much as normal as you might expect me to be able to be. Indeed it was pretty hard seeing my grandfather’s condition worsen over the past few months, and to see him get worse much more rapidly in the hospital (thinking about it now does makes me feel heavy on the inside), but there was an overwhelming peace that came over me (and I think my dad experienced the same thing too—he was there, he knows what I mean) when my gramps went peacefully and on his own accord.
It was pretty difficult to stay composed for maybe the three or four days right after, but the more I thought about it, the more I saw all the good that God has worked through all this and will continue to work out, and now the memory of my grandfather has much more to do with the awesomeness of his example and God’s work through him than to do with his passing and sadness. This is a blessing and surely the mark of a meaningful life.
My gramps was a pretty awesome man, and I have an excellent role model to live up to. Thanks for everything, gramps.
Note: Writing about it has also helped me in this whole grieving process. After my gramps passed, the adults planning the funeral ceremony thought a good way for the grandchildren to contribute would be for us to write out mini-eulogies for gramps. Elaine thought this would make for a good testimony so I am going to just leave what I wrote out for my grandfather after the jump, and that will do for this week’s info @ the P.Pole.
Here’s what I wrote for my grandfather’s eulogy. The stories and and experiences happened to me (or were shared with me by my dad) but the structure and how it all came to fit together as such a tidy and pointed narrative is beyond me. Hopefully you are blessed by this account of my gramps’ life and how God has been jooking and jiving throughout it.
I do not think there is a retelling of my grandfather’s life that will be able to faithfully capture and convey the breadth and depth of his character to you. My grandfather was a man of few words, ever-pragmatic, and constantly in pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, so let me instead share with you the three greatest life lessons that my grandfather taught me, and why he will be remembered.
Play to Win
One of my grandfather’s greatest joys was investing. He once sat me down to teach me about this interest of his. He didn’t teach me things like what stocks to pick, how to predict price movements or how to evaluate portfolios. We never looked at any financial statements or even a single earnings report. Instead, he shared with me his philosophy and outlook on business and life:
“No one ever goes into business with the intention of losing.”
My grandfather finished everything he started and always to the very best of his ability. “Good enough” was not in his vocabulary and first place was always the bar he set out to beat. Perhaps he expected this of others, but he absolutely demanded this of himself. He was the only one of his siblings to get a formal education and leave the old country to make a life for himself and my grandmother in Hong Kong. He worked hard everyday of his life to raise six children and save up enough to eventually move to Canada. After immigrating here to a completely new land with a foreign language, he not only decided to take English classes, but placed first on all the tests and evaluations. He did everything with the mindset of being the best provider, father, and example that he could be. My grandfather knew the meaning of disciplining oneself, working hard and playing to win every single day.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we are imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. – 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
What Is Broken Can Be Fixed
Growing up living in the same house as my grandfather was a special experience. It seems as if I was constantly breaking things while my grandfather was constantly fixing things. My grandfather could fix everything, from simple items like lamps and chairs, to complicated hardware like telephones and microwaves. If it worked at some point and suddenly stopped because of me, you can bet my grandfather would find a way to fix it sooner or later. He would spend days learning how something worked, then identify the problem and conjure up a solution that would somehow work, flying in the face of conventional consumerist thinking and often the very laws of physics themselves.
“If it is broken, it can always be fixed and made to work again.”
My grandfather taught me the incredible worth in salvaging what all others would resign to call lost. He never hesitated to invest his own blood and sweat, or get his hands dirty, just to salvage a dusty old radio or a broken microwave oven. Even when everyone else thought him foolish for trying, my grandfather would see the repair of anything he touched through. No one else understood what he saw in those old appliances, but I believe he was demonstrating a deeper understanding of the role of saving grace in his life than anyone could have realized at the time.
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. – Luke 19:10
Be Faithful
My grandfather was never one to go back on his words. He was decisive and sure whenever he made a statement or promise. This quality of his ran consistently throughout all his actions and decisions, big or small. He never doubted his choice of immigrating to Canada even while our family was barely getting by on $50 a week for groceries and baby supplies for me. Once he had moved to Canada, he decided he would start running for exercise and that is exactly what my grandfather did at 6 am in the morning, the first day after his arrival. The man was 62 years young at the time.
“Say what you mean, and mean what you say. A good man is decisive and always keeps his promises to God and man.”
My grandfather always finished everything he set out to do with as much vigor as when he first started out. He never looked back or second-guessed himself once he made the decision to take something head-on. He stuck to the paths that had been set out for him, whether they were wide or narrow, straight or winding.
Even in his last days here, my grandfather kept his promises. It takes a supernatural amount of strength to battle liver, lung. and bone cancer all at once, at the age of 84, the way my grandfather courageously did. While he could still speak, he promised to wait for my aunt (his first-born) and my uncle (his first son) to arrive before he would pass. My name and his instructions to me were the last words I ever heard from him. When his condition worsened, he gathered his hands and prayed through his toughest hours of pain and weakness, no doubt asking for strength to see his promises through.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:26-28
On Sunday, November 7th, 2010, my grandfather passed away at 12:05 pm, just 3 minutes after my aunt and uncle’s 14 hour Trans-Pacific flight had safely landed at Pearson International Airport after weeks of planning. My grandfather was given the strength he needed and was able to stay true to his faith, his family and his promises unto his mortal passing.
He set an example for me of what it means to strive for excellence in every way. He also taught me that nothing was ever beyond repair and redemption. And finally, this man showed me what it means to be true and faithful to his very last breath. This is why I will always remember him.
Carl Wong, Grandson