Beginning a new semester, I got to experience some of the “finer” shades of highschool life. One was grade nine gym. apparently, I have grown fatty and unpruned. since my last gym class (all the way back in grade eight), I cannot recall running nearly as much in one sitting (or running as it was). Beep Test = survival of the fittest in action. By the end of my embarassingly few lengths of the gym, I was floored, literally. For some reason, I felt like flinging myself onto the ground, so I flung out my legs in front of me and lay down on the ground. I did not even think that there were still people doing the test and so I was harshly cursed at by another runner.
On a happier note, grade nine art class has been treating me well for the past 3 days. This period consists of 75 minutes of non-stop, hardcore, freaky-deeky fun with comments, retorts, ripostes and blatant profanity flying in too many directions at any one time. Please note that the following conversations are taking place at breakneck speed; keep that in mind while reading them (aloud with expression) to yourself/others. All dialogue is paraphrased and possibly filtered for “unwholesome” subject matter.
—
“COW!”
“WHAT! MISS! THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ME!”
“Hey, shut up! Go eat some grass!”
“Holy sh*t…”
“Ma’am! She’s using foul language!”
“Shut up, who said you could speak?! BLOODCLOT!”
“She’s not repecting me!”
“Okay children, time to do a brainstorm…”
“Racist!”
“COW!”
“Bastard.”
—
“CARLTON!”
“Eh?”
“What? I just wanted to say your name.”
“Oh i see. But my name is Carl.”
“Yeah, whatever. That other girl’s gay.”
“Right. What’s her name?”
“Cow.”
“Ah.”
—
“Miss?”
“Yes?”
“Are you a Nazi?”
“What? I don’t understand.”
“What about a racist?”
“Um, no. I’m just an art teacher. Now if you’ll look up here…”
“But you’re white!”
“…If you’ll look up here…”
“SEE?! SHE IS A RACIST! SHE WON’T RESPECT THE BLACK COMMUNITY. I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED!”
“I need to go to the bathroom!”
“You can’t go now, I’m about to teach a lesson. It was just lunch, how come you didn’t go then?”
“RACIST!”
“Maybe being fired would be best…”
—
As you can see, art class is horribly boring.