the P.Pole v.2.1

God damn me. seriously, i deserve it. i wouldn’t be the least disappointed if i were to be struck down by a not-so-straying bolt of judgement tomorrow, or in the next couple hours for that matter. i wonder why God even puts up with wretches like me. then again, if i were to die tomorrow - or very soon in general - i guess i would be a bit disappointed for loss of opportunities to earn my Heaven Rewards Miles. also, death would be far too simple and easy a solution for me.
time to get back to the basics. i’m Scripture-bound.

“for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.”
- Proverbs 24:16 [show]<div class="esv"><h2>Proverbs 24:16 <object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F20024016" width="40" height="12" class="audio"><param name="movie" value="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F20024016" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /></object></h2> <div class="esv-text"><div class="block-indent"> <p class="line-group" id="p20024016.01-1"><span class="verse-num" id="v20024016-1">16&nbsp;</span>for the righteous falls seven times and rises again,<br /> <span class="indent"></span>but the wicked stumble in times of calamity. (<a href="http://www.esv.org" class="copyright">ESV</a>)</p> </div> </div> </div>

” There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.”
- Ecclesiastes 7:20 [show]<div class="esv"><h2>Ecclesiastes 7:20 <object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F21007020" width="40" height="12" class="audio"><param name="movie" value="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F21007020" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /></object></h2> <div class="esv-text"><p id="p21007020.01-1"><span class="verse-num" id="v21007020-1">20&nbsp;</span>Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins. (<a href="http://www.esv.org" class="copyright">ESV</a>)</p> </div> </div>

though His mercy is totally miscalculated, God help me.

The dirt in this place has filled my eyes,
And I can’t see, no I can’t see a thing.
Perhaps this next step will take me home,
Or for all I know, lead me to certain death.
Pretty Sunday, wooden pews.
Word of God, healing for my soul.
Friday night, rusty park bench.
Laughter and addictions for my pain.

‘Cause I don’t know who’s winning this tug of war,
So let it be You, let it be You.
For heaven’s sake, my heart’s about to rip in two,
So let it be You, let it be You.
- Koo Chung, Better Be You

EDIT: speaking of music, i’ve been listening to my older records lately (i.e. some Treble Charger, Pilate, and my Chrono Cross OST); w00t for nostalgia! “Caught By The Window” always reminds me of winter for some reason… odd. also on the topic of music, i recently (i.e. last night) went to look up “The Postal Service” on Google for their site and maybe some info when i discovered that they’ve got two songs that i loved - “loved” because i deleted them when i got rid of my illegit music - that were on the Sub Pop Records site. w00tage. then i found a remixed version of one of those songs. more w00tage.

our team’s got an exibition game against the seniors tomorrow so i dunno if i’ll have time to write my I@P then. so, this week’s is earlier.

5 priorities that i think should be at the top of every man’s list (from most to least pressing, IMO):

1. God - listening to Him speak, applying it; this includes serving Him (and so, serving the world); obeying God’s command, bar none; basically seeking Him in general.
2. Spouse - honouring what God has/will/may give[n] to him; being there for her; respecting, caring for, protecting, and loving her; in essence, being a living example of “WWJD” towards the second love of his life, the first being God.
3. Friendship - again, like the spouse, but on a different level.
4. Being noble - honouring his promises and oaths to God, then to men; fulfilling his duties as the head of a house, raising up a God-fearing family; providing; etc…
5. Learning and sharing knowledge - a man’s educational life should span his lifetime; he should seek knowledge and wisdom, always with a thirst for more; he should also be ready and even eager to impart his knowledge and discuss theories with others to either gain or provide enlightenment (from God) or both.

and yeah, that’s just what i thought i could do for a list this week. O.o

He guides me on my way,
step by step, day by day.
my paths are lit by His ray,
but only because He loves me.

i read His word and can hear Him call.
but of course i never understand it all;
at times i’m even thrown against the walls,
but only because He loves me.

i’ve been blessed and given possessions
even in light of my transgressions;
my God accepts my confessions,
but only because He loves me.

my God can see ever clearly through me,
and never settles to leave me be;
He goes out of His way to help me see,
but only because He loves me.

just my God and i,
we’ll walk side by side.
i’ve nothing to lose, or hide,
but only because He loves me.

but even if the world hates me,
that will always be.

EDIT: by Me.
some Psalmage:

“But you, O Sovereign LORD,
deal with me for your name’s sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.”

- Psalm 109:21-22 [show]<div class="esv"><h2>Psalm 109:21-22 <object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F19109021-19109022" width="40" height="12" class="audio"><param name="movie" value="http://www.esvapi.org/assets/play.swf?myUrl=hw%2F19109021-19109022" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /></object></h2> <div class="esv-text"><div class="block-indent"> <p class="line-group" id="p19109021.01-1"><span class="verse-num" id="v19109021-1">21&nbsp;</span>But you, O <span class="small-caps">God</span> my Lord,<br /> <span class="indent"></span>deal on my behalf for your name's sake;<br /> <span class="indent"></span>because your steadfast love is good, deliver me!<br /> <span class="verse-num" id="v19109022-1">22&nbsp;</span>For I am poor and needy,<br /> <span class="indent"></span>and my heart is stricken within me. (<a href="http://www.esv.org" class="copyright">ESV</a>)</p> </div> </div> </div>

okay, so i was one day late for the I@P but i had a valid reason. actually, 4 valid reasons: math, science, english, and french. school work is quite bogging but oh well. BTW, click the title for “Stick It to Your Man” by the Roman Candles. oh yum… *rubs hands*

5 things i could waste use hours of time on:

• homework
• MSN, Google Talk, blogging, basically anything internet related
• reading
• coming up with my own little “interpretive dance” routines for my techno music
• browsing for legit music - my playlist is now up to 350+ legit tracks

oh man, it’s official, my french teacher is in love with me. she goes out of her way to make sure i know that my work was “magnifique! bravo - Larker - ! bon travail!” et cetera… O.o

dude. here i’ve got poetry, rhyming verses, mushy lyrics, AND it’s in french. i’m just missing a rose in my mouth and a guitar with which to serenade away. some day. i hope you like it for now.

pour vous:

Elle m’a blessé quand je l’ai vu;
Votre tristesse est ma douleur.
Je l’aurais pris sur moi-même si j’ai pu,
Encore s’il m’a laissé sans couleur.

Je vous ai dit que je vous attendrai.
Je vous ai dit ça, c’est le cri de mon âme.
Je demande seulement que vous me croyez.
Je vous rassure, « nous » sommes « pure laine ».

C’est une bénédiction de vous connaître.
Je ne vous taquine jamais quand je dis,
« Vous êtes vraiment ma raison d’être. »
Voyez : j’ai bondi de joie quand vous avez ri.

Je ne comprends pas votre souffrance.
Je serais menteur si j’ai dit ça.
Je serai encore là pour vous, pas par chance.
Je vous entendrai, parlez à moi.

for you:

i don’t get what you’re going through.
i would be lying if i told you that i did.
but whatever it is, i’m here for you,
so call me if ever you want to lift the lid.

dear, please believe me when i say
that when it comes to your pain,
i would love to take it all away,
even if it leaves me dead and slain.

so why do you hide your face from me?
i mean you no harm, far from it.
i guess i just want to help you to see
that you and i are quite a nice fit.

it hurts me to see you in such pain,
even more so when i can’t help relieve.
i can’t protect you from all the rain
but i promise to wait; i’ll never leave.

so let the skies pour out their gloom.
we’ll walk through the puddles, the puddles of life.
after the storms, the flow’rs shall bloom.
remember, the blessings will come after the strife.